Spotted: Lecty Learns to Avoid Some Angst

One of the more notorious brooders at Hogwarts is apparently reformed.

Everyone knows that Amycus has become a lovesick puppy who appears to be emotional over every little thing, and now it looks like Alecto might want to try it out herself.

Why she’s been less moody than usual is something I would like to know if it’s interesting enough. I’m going to guess that either she finally discovered her secret love for knitting or that she had a really good shag. Or, you know, her fingers now have the skills of a god.

Spotted: Lil Red Seen Riding a Broomstick

When I first saw this news, hope sparked inside of me that Ms. Evans had been scandalous enough to actually do something interesting for once and give her fiancé a heated round of public shagging.

But then I remembered it was Lily who was referenced and she’s too boring for those things. It’s too bad she didn’t fall off and hurt herself and have to have Lover Boy carry her off to the Hospital Wing, with the random assistance of Mr. Rosier like he did once, because that would’ve made for a much more exciting story.

Just remember, dearie, you don’t need to go all the way to the broom cupboard to keep a boy’s broom polished.

Spotted: Ellie and Ophelius Do Some Dental Work

To perhaps the least discrete pair of people attempting to act like they don’t go at it behind closed doors, I say thank you, Ellis Blakewood and Ophelia Blaire, for leaving the classroom door open when you snogged.

Oh wait, I don’t thank anyone.

It’s just too bad my source passed by when you were stretching your tongues and not later on when you were admiring your clothes on the floor. That would’ve been so much more interesting, though equally as predictable.

Spotted: Wizarding Stork Came to Visit

In other news, Amycus Carrow is now opening a day care business.

Either that or McKinnon had the fastest pregnancy ever.

No matter what, I still don’t care. Not that it should come as a shock.

Spotted: Boy Carrow Befriends a Badger

Amycus Carrow, one half of the school’s most disliked sibling pair, was seen getting friendly with a Hufflepuff. He might not be the soft type, but I have an inkling his sister might have a comment or two about this development. And yet, I don’t know if she’ll even care enough to pay attention, unless she can use it as a way to cover up a secret of her own that she inevitably doesn’t have.

Can snakes and badgers coexist? Or is the snake bound to eat the badger before it can dig itself into safety? Looks like we’ll find out soon enough.

Spotted: Vanity Makes a Comeback

Perhaps the term “comeback” is a bit of a stretch, but the Slytherin has, indeed, come back, crawling out of her little cave to do what she probably considers gracing us with her presence. She must be luckily enough to no longer have her head on a wanted poster belonging to her entire house, because apparently she’s not seeming quite so pathetic anymore.

Who knew it was possible to stop your own pity party for long enough to actually see other people? Maybe she should give Bonesy some tips.

Spotted: Little Bones Screams Like a Girl

It’s not every day you get to witness a Hufflepuff live up to his or her stereotype of being entirely useless, though during the hut assignment, none other than Edgar Bones was fleeing through the forest like a mad man.

Yet, as likely as it is that he was simply put off by how little people seem to care for his house, Little Bones actually tends to have a better head on his shoulders than many of the students at Hogwarts. So what was it? Was Edgar just scared of his shadow, or was there something actually worrisome out there?

Spotted: Lover Boy Gets to His Knee

No, lovelies, don’t let your filthy little minds drift where Professor Dumbledore would not aprove; I said knee, not knees.

According to a source, after the Gryffindor common room went up in smoke and the Fat Lady disappeared, Mr. Potter was seen asking Lily Evans to marry him. Looks like Lil Red will have to find some white.

Let’s just hope they don’t become boring, too. I can only nap so much.

Spotted: Andy Not the Blackest Black

Everyone knows the Black family, or at least of them, and knows not to get in their way - though it’s always wonderfully amusing when someone does - but it seems the middle sister has branched out from their Slytherin domain. And how exactly did she do this? By kissing none other than a Hufflepuff at the tavern on Thursday night. A muggleborn Hufflepuff.

Strap on your seatbelt, Tonksy, it’s going to be one Hell of a ride.

At least you know what a seatbelt is, seeing as you’re a muggleborn.

Spotted: Maffy and McAv Getting Cozy

It seems there have been all sorts of friendly cuddles lately, and the latest pair to join the trend was Leo McAvoy and Mafalda Hopkirk. Normally I’d roll my eyes at something so trivial, but they didn’t appear to be sad about this in the least, and it comes shortly after Leo spotted his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend, apparently) and Boringbottom with their arms around one another, only for that to end the minute he showed up.

So, my lovelies, what do you think: just a drunken sappy moment, or something much, much more. Keep your eyes out; you might as well put them to use somehow.